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How to approach people in MLM without annoying family or friends
How do you approach people in MLM without becoming the one everyone avoids at a party? A few principles that protect both your relationships and your business.
The biggest fear of beginners in network marketing? Becoming the person everyone avoids at a party.
I understand. Everyone knows people like that. You arrive at a birthday and five minutes later you are holding a catalogue.
How to approach people in MLM without losing your friends is one of the most common questions people ask about network marketing. The good news is that it can be done. Just differently from how many people teach it.
In short
- You can approach people in MLM without pressure: ask, listen and offer only where it makes sense.
- Family and friends are not a market, but people you want to keep coming back to in ten years‘ time.
- One invitation is enough. “No” is an answer, not a call for another round.
- The best contacts are people who are looking for a change themselves.
Why do people hate being approached in MLM?
People hate being approached in MLM mainly because of pressure, hidden motives and repeated persuading. When an invitation for coffee ends in a sales presentation nobody expected, a person feels deceived.
Most bad experiences follow the same pattern:
- An invitation that hides what it is about.
- Learned phrases instead of a real conversation.
- Persuading after the first “no”.
- Messages copied to hundreds of people at once.
If you avoid this, you are ahead of a large part of the industry.
Do you have to approach everyone you know in MLM?
In MLM you don’t have to approach everyone you know. Your list of contacts is not a list of customers, and family and friends are people you want to keep coming back to in ten years‘ time, not a market.
Someone who values relationships isn’t any less interested in business. They simply know that trust is built over years and can be lost in one evening.
How do you approach people in MLM without pressure?
You approach people in MLM without pressure when you say straight away what it is about, take more interest in the other person than in your offer and leave them room to say no. These four principles work:
- Live normally and be visible. People know what you do from how you live and what you talk about. Not from what you push on them.
- Ask, don’t sell. Take an interest in what the other person is dealing with. Sometimes your offer fits, often it doesn’t. And that’s fine.
- One invitation, then peace. “No” is an answer, not a call for another round.
- Look for people who are looking themselves. Those who want a change will get in touch. Your job is to be reachable.
What does a good approach look like in practice?
A good approach in practice is short, honest and leaves the other person a choice. You say straight away what it is about and ask whether they are interested.
| Situation | What to avoid | What works better |
|---|---|---|
| Invitation for coffee | “I have to show you something, you’ll see.” | “I’m working on a new project. Do you want to hear about it, or not?” |
| Message on social media | The same text sent to a hundred people. | A personal message to someone you know. |
| Answer “I’m not interested” | More arguments and pressure. | “Sure, thanks. If that changes, get in touch.” |
| Family celebration | A catalogue on the table. | A normal celebration. Business can wait. |
| Social media | Promises and luxury. | Real life and honest work. |
How do you approach people in MLM through social media?
Through social media, approach people in MLM the same way as in person: personally, honestly and only people with whom you have a real relationship or a shared topic. People can spot mass messages and copied texts within the first sentence today.
- Give first, then ask. Share useful things and your real life. People will get in touch if it interests them.
- Write to people you really know. A message to a stranger with an offer in the first sentence almost always ends up ignored.
- Don’t add people to groups without consent. Nothing annoys more than a group someone pulled you into without asking.
- Stories instead of promises. Leave out earnings figures and photos of luxury. Show what you do and why you enjoy it.
Where do you find people for MLM if you don’t approach family?
You can look for people for MLM outside your family through content on social media, through recommendations from satisfied customers and in communities where people who are looking for a change meet. Your job is to be visible and reachable.
- Share what you do and why, without promises.
- Write posts that help people even if they buy nothing.
- Ask satisfied customers for a recommendation.
- Be active in communities you enjoy. For the people, not for recruiting.
I write about how to tell who to build with for the long term in the article Building a team in MLM.
Frequently asked questions
Should I talk about MLM with my family at all?
Talking to your family about what you do is fine, just as with any other job. The difference is between sharing and persuading. Say what you do and, if someone asks more, answer. But don’t expect your family to be your first customers.
What should I write as a first message?
The first message should be personal, short and honest. Say what it is about and ask whether the other person wants to hear about it. Avoid mysterious phrases and copied texts. People appreciate being treated as adults.
How many times can I approach a person?
Once is enough. If they say no, thank them and leave the door open. If their situation changes, they will get in touch themselves. Repeated persuading damages the relationship more than it can ever bring.
How do I react when someone tells me MLM is a scam?
When someone tells you MLM is a scam, don’t argue. They often have a bad experience or confuse it with a prohibited pyramid scheme. Feel free to explain the difference and let them form their own opinion. The article How to choose an MLM company can help too.
What if my family discourages me from MLM?
When your family discourages you from MLM, they are mostly worried about you. Don’t take it as an attack. Show them that you do it honestly, without debts and without pressure on the people around you. The best argument isn’t a debate at the table, but how you behave in the following months.
How do you know you are doing it well?
When, years later, people are still happy to invite you to celebrations.
And when they ask you themselves what exactly you do.
If you want to build a team like this, decently and without pressure, get in touch for a private presentation.
Tom
I write from my own experience. This is not legal or financial advice. Results in network marketing depend on your own work and are not guaranteed.